[IT'S TAE ( Read more... )

[The sound the feed opens to is one that would be familiar to many- the dial tone of a phone.]

[beep boop beep beep boop beep boop]

[Somebody dials a number, and the phone rings.]

[...and rings.]

[annnndd rings.]

[The caller hangs up, redials.... and the rings begin again.]

[This happens about 5 times and the dialing becomes more... violent ( Read more... )

[The feed clicks on, and Tae is sitting at a table. There's 2 large stacks of paperwork on the table, or rather one stack split into two on either side of her-- and she's working diligently on one form when the feed starts, before sliding it into one pile and taking another sheet from the other pile.]My goodness, there sure is a lot of paperwork to ( Read more... )

[See Tae.]

[See Tae sitting at a little booth. The signage up above her proudly declares:]

STELLAR KISSING BOOTH

1 TICKET - 1 KISS ON THE CHEEK
3 TICKETS - 1 KISS ON THE LIPS
5 TICKETS - 1 KISS A~~~N~~~W~
[The rest of this listing seems to have been angrily scratched out, but something clearly lewd can be seen remaining beneath.][She waves to ( Read more... )

[There's the sound of female chattering, and small clinking/working sounds, before a voice sounds more strongly across the Guide, closer to the feed, in mid-conversation--]

--Why, yes! And he even asked about my favorite flowers!

[Tae's voice expounds cheerfully across the feed. There's a mumbling reply from close to the Guide, but it can't quite ( Read more... )

[The background noise of customers and kitchen-sounds murmurs within the post, the clinking of cups and plates, the obnoxious scraping of knives on plates, the hideous snarfling of aliens with inhaling food.]

[Over said background noise, rips a scream. It's a particularly girly manly, garbled alien scream, and then comes a loud thud.]My goodness, ( Read more... )

[There's the sound of shuffling paper as the feed comes on, and a soft sigh.]

From "Ook-ock of planet Virunga".... ...."requests your hand in marriage".........

No.

[TEARING-UP OF PAPER. And then another rustling as she opens another letter.]

"Tiny from planet Vir-" --NO WAY!

[And that one, too, get torn up, as she seems to be filing through ( Read more... )

....

[Sigh]

Tomorrow is that day that comes around every year, to remind us girls without boyfriends that we're the last pickings. The bottom of the barrel. The crumbs at the bottom of the chip bag.

...

[CRASHING SOUND]

[TABLE JUST GOT FLIPPED]

WELL I DON'T NEED TO GIVE ANYONE CHOCOLATE!
IT'S NOTHING BUT STUPID MEN ON THIS SHIP, ANYWAY!!! ( Read more... )

[The video feed opens, appearing to be advertising for Stellar, a lounge and host club on the ship ( Read more... )

[The video turns on to.......]

[The Guide being VICIOUSLY SAVAGED by something- it's stabby and huge and--

....pronged.]

[The sound of ANGRY, DEER-Y BELLOWING can be heard as the Guide is stabbed.]

[And then the huge face of an angry reindeer HUFFS its nostrils over the Guide]

WHAT THE HELL IS THIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!?[There's a flowered ( Read more... )